Installing a Husband

Dear Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:

• Romance 9.5 and
• Personal Attention 6.5

and then installed undesirable programs such as :

• Football 5.0
• Cars 3.0 and
• Fishing 4.1

Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE

First, keep in mind:

• Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
• Husband 1.0 is an Operating System

Please enter command ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications:

• Jewellery 2.0 and
• Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to:

• Grumpy Silence 2.5
• Happy Hour 7.0 or
• Beer 6.1

Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend:

• Cooking 3.0 and
• Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck!

Tech Support

I can't take the credit for this, a colleague sent it to me!