Monday, 15 June 2009

Let’s Do It!

I've just noticed that this is my 100th posting. I'm not exactly a prolific Blogger. I tend to post when I have something to say or to share. So here's what I have to say today and to share with you.

I’m suffering from post holiday blues as you so often do when forcing yourself to adjust to reality. The reality of being like a hamster in a treadmill, shopping, washing, ironing, cleaning the bathroom, hoovering, cooking, clearing up and so on and so on.....

For some reason it feels worse than when I had to go back to work after a holiday. Well I did like my job, I don't like housework!!!!

So I need a laugh!

My motto is, "When in need of a laugh, watch Victoria Wood!"

So here’s one of my all time favourites, The Ballad of Barry and Freda, Let’s Do It!

Look out for a very young, curly haired, Julie Walters in the audience.

The Ballad of Barry and Freda - Victoria Wood

Just in case you can't understand all of the lyrics, here they are:

Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear.
The stars were bright.
The wind was soft.
The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup.
She licked her lips.
She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
I've really got an appetite.
I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.
No derision!
My decision
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it till our hearts go boom!
Go native,
Living in the living room.
This folly
Is jolly.
Bend me over backwards on me hostess trolley.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
I'm older,
Feel colder.
Other things that turn me on.
I'm imploring:
I'm boring.
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare.
I'll just wear
Stilettos and an oven glove.
Don't starve a Girl of a palaver.
Dangle from the wardrobe in your balaclava.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I know I'd only get it wrong.
Don't angle
For me to dangle.
Me arms 'ave never been that strong.
Stop pouting.
Stop shouting.
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Share a night of wild romance,
This could be your last big chance
To quote Milton,
To eat Stilton,
To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house.
I’ve got a busy evening planned.
Stop nagging.
I'm flagging.
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it
While I'm really in the mood!
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.
Be drastic
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I must refuse to get undressed.
I feel silly.
It's too chilly
To go without me thermal vest.
Don't choose me.
Don't use me.
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel I absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.
No cautions,
Just contortions!
Smear an avocado on me lower portions.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
It's really not my cup of tea.
I'm harassed,
I wish you hadn't picked on me.
No dramas!
Give me me pyjamas.The only girl
I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to run amok.
Let's wiggle.
Let's jiggle.
Let's really make the rafters rock.
Be mighty.
Be flighty.
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go,
'Cause I know
Just how I want you to behave:
Not bleakly,
Not meekly.
Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

Victoria Wood

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Church Going in Rhodes

St Francisco Roman Catholic Church, Rhodes Town

One thing I like to do when I go away is to visit the local church. It isn't always easy to find a Roman Catholic Church in Greece but it is in Rhodes Town. There are two! I usually go to this one called the Church of San Francisco, (St Francis) mainly because it's on the bus route from where we stay and there's a bus stop right outside the church.

The other church is an older one in the centre of the town near the casino. I had a problem finding it the first time I visited Rhodes and I've never gone back to it. What a luxury finding two churches so close together!

It's quite a modern church and it has a huge, wonderful painting of St Francis on the altar. I wanted to take a picture after the service but unfortunately another service followed immediately afterwards so I could only take a picture from the back of the church very quickly. It's quite poor unfortunately, you get the scale of the painting but not the detail. I'll be back in Rhodes in September so maybe I can get a better one then.

What I found strange last year was they have started to do the Mass in Latin and with a lot of singing. I'm ashamed to admit I've forgotten most of the Latin I used to know and they didn't have a Mass card in Latin and English, or if they did I didn't get one.

There are greeters at the back of the church and they welcome you and give you a sheet with the readings in your language. Not sure they had them for all the nationalities there but the main ones are covered. I don't know why they have gone back to the Mass in Latin but it was quite nice and brought back some memories. The priest sounds like he's from Yorkshire, he's been there for quite a long time but he is quite a serious chap! He speaks a few languages and has a bit of a chat to people in French, Italian, Greek and English which is quite nice.

If you go there for Mass be prepared, it starts at 10 am on Sundays but it's quite a bit longer than ours. The last one I went to was nearly an hour and was followed by benediction. The week before it lasted over an hour as there was a local couple renewing their wedding vows after forty years which was quite nice.

It's interesting too that the church is also used for Anglican services.

Outside the church is a statue of St Francis with the prayer inscribed around it in numerous languages including Hebrew. I did take a photo of the prayer and checked that it was quite clear to read but I can't find it on the camera now. Weird!

St Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Computer Says No!

I've created a new blog to keep my computer witterings separate form my general blog ramblings. I know they can get a bit boring.

If anyone is interested the stuff is here on Computer Says No!

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Life on Mars - The BBC Version

Life on Mars
I started a new blog on my telly addiction as I seemed to be posting so much on that topic.

Now I'm not really sure whether that's a good idea so I'd be pleased if you have any comments about this. Is it easier to just follow one blog or do people prefer to have the choice of optIng in or out of blogs geared to specific topics?

Well the first posting is here on my Telly Addict blog and it's on Life on Mars-the BBC version. So if you're interested please pay it a visit you'll be very welcome.

Picture above is a screen dump from Life on Mars website.

My Singer 338!

Well here it is my very first sewing machine, the one I got for my 21st birthday in 1966! I know it cost my Mam  a lot to buy it for me...